Teaching Muslim children good manners

3 Practical Tips to Teach Your Muslim Children Good Manners

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Nothing will be heavier on the Day of Resurrection in the Scale of the believer than good manners. Allah hates one who utters foul or coarse language.”


Teaching our Muslim children good manners is one of our main responsibilities as parents.

It is one of the essential parts of being a good Muslim that is emphasized in both Quran and Sunnah.

However, with the way many societies are right now, it seems unfortunately many parents have not fulfilled this responsibility.

This makes it even more important to put more effort into teaching our young ones manners at home rather than expecting them to learn from both inside and outside the home.

With all this in mind, Sister Dina Khattab shares 3 practical tips to teach our Muslim children good manners.

Practical Tips:

Tip #1: Connect with the Quran

I came across this beautiful and useful passage from the book ‘The way to the Quran’ about raising children, by stating to them verses from the Quran to change their behaviour, so, I wanted to share it:

“And you notice that this teenager is arguing more and more with you…

If I replace all of that and say to him only one word: My dear brother, Allah Almighty says:

‘And lower to them the wing of submission and humility through mercy and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’ [17:24]

I saw this boy’s position completely change….

I saw this with my own eyes…

How did this young man became silent and attentively listened to what Allah is saying…

Even the tones of his voice changed….

Oh Allah, how this verse shook him?”

It is the Quran.

Tip # 2: Prophets as our role models

Books on Islam

My daughter was invited to a birthday party for one of our neighbours. She was five years old at the time, and all the neighbours who were invited went and I did not allow her to go because we do not celebrate birthdays for us or anyone else.

I told her that she can not go to the party because we as Muslims should not celebrate this day.

Simply, I told her that we have two Eids that we are allowed to celebrate, and we don’t have any other Eid.

Then I told her: Do you know that you did what Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) did when all the people in his town went to a forbidden party and he remained alone in the village and did not go with them because he knew that it is not permissible to celebrate this forbidden occasion! You have now done something like what prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him) did.

These words had a great effect on her, she, now, didn’t feel that she was deprived from something, but she felt that she was doing a tremendous thing by following in the footsteps of prophet Ibrahim by not going to this celebration.

Of course, there is a big difference between the celebration of birthdays and the celebration of the people of Prophet Ibrahim, but I just wanted to link this incident to the idea of not participating in a forbidden act, regardless of its degree of Haram, even if everybody else is doing it.

In this way, we can encourage our children to follow the commands of Allah and stand in the face of doing forbidden deeds, even if all who are around us are doing it. Linking children to the deeds of the prophets, and walking in their footsteps gives them strength, stability and contentment (By Allah’s will).

Tip #3: Learn manners together, one at a time

I had attended a meet up with a group of sisters to talk about bringing up children, and one of the sisters shared with us her experience about developing manners in her children.

She said that they used to choose a certain manner (that they needed to work on) and write it on a piece of paper or card and stick it on the refrigerator.

They would work on this manner for a week or more (as much as they needed to) where they would remind each other of this manner whenever anyone needed the reminder.

She recommended working on one manner at a time, and when they showed enough progress in obtaining this manner, they would move on to another one and so on.

We have followed this method for learning to be more patient and it really helped. Now (inshaa Allah) we will start working on kindness and we prepared this card to help us. This exercise is not just for children, it is for us too (the parents).

For an excellent set of Good Manners Cards, check out Allamah’s Muslim Manners cards.

Free Printable for an Islamically integrated educational resource for children

Be the living role model for your children and show them what it means to have beautiful manners.

Check out Sister Dina Khattab’s complementary checklist for the “Ideal Muslimah” book, written by M. A. Al-Hashimi.

***Check out our growing library of free printables HERE***

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